VorTex's Best 25 Christmas Jokes

 

Hello, Tornados! It's me, VorTex. I'm the official mascot of Concordia University Texas. I love supporting and cheering on our students. One of the ways I do so is by making them laugh. I have collected 25 of my best Christmas jokes for you to enjoy as you celebrate this beautiful Advent season.

1. How can Santa fly through the rain?
He has raindeer.

2. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite

3. What's an elf's favorite music?
Wrap music

4. What do you call Santa's fear of tight spaces?
Claustrophobia

5. What do you call a duck that loves Christmas?
A Christmas quacker

6. What do you call Santa's little helpers?
Subordinate clauses

7. Did you hear that Santa is broke?
Poor Saint Nickel-less

8. How does a sheep in Spain say "Merry Christmas"?
"Fleece Navidad!"

9. What is the golden-cheeked warbler's favorite Christmas story?
"How the Finch Stole Christmas"

10. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
"Do you smell carrots?"

11. What kind of ball doesn't bounce?
A snowball

12. What's a great Christmas present to give others?
A broken drum because you can't beat it

13. What does a gingerbread man put on top of his bed?
Cookie sheets

14. Did you hear that Frosty the Snowman was in a fight?
He has two black eyes.

15. Where does Santa keep his money?
In a snow bank

16. What's the best cereal in December?
Frosted flakes

17. Why did the elf go to the doctor?
He had tinsellitis.

18. Why does Santa always use the chimney?
It soots him.

19. What kind of cars do elves drive?
Toyotas

20. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me, and we'll go places.

21. What comes at the end of Christmas?
The letter "s."

22. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple

23. When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary

24. What does December have that other months don't?
The letter "d."

25. What's different about alphabet soup at Christmastime?
It has Noel.